Even after eighteen years, I still recall the silent prayer I repeated over and over again as I dropped fifty vividly colored, handwritten notes into the mailbox. Over and over again, I repeated this mantra: “Please let them know who I am. Please let them know who I am. Please let them know who I am.”
Who was the “them”? They were the fifty people about to receive these nice little notes that announced I had left my employer of over a decade and was beginning to consult. My newly minted business card was inside, one I hoped they would keep and use to either call or refer me. My note was both newsy (I’ve started something new) and hopeful (sure would appreciate any referrals).
It was both telling and scary that my network was so threadbare that I could scarcely conjure up fifty names of people likely to receive this big announcement. Friends and family aside, there was only one word to describe the state of my professional network: dismal.
My sense of foreboding was well deserved, for a vibrant, well-rounded network is a significant asset to any professional. And for a professional, freelance consultant, it was critical. For it is your network that leads to your potential clients, that produces referrals, and that finds others to collaborate with. Being an independent consultant without a network is like expecting a plant to grow without water.
I’m pleased to report that my burgeoning business, which started in 2004 with a measly network, has survived. In fact, it has thrived. This consulting practice has provided me with a higher income potential than being employed AND has provided freedom, flexibility, and the ability to focus on the work I most want to do. Yet, I would have failed if I had not invested heavily into growing and nurturing a rich network.
Perhaps because I had to build this critical business asset quickly and with intention, I’ve had to study what to do (and, more importantly, what not to do). Today I’ll share with you three common blunders I see professionals make when they network.
Blunder One: Mistake Quantity for Quality
To begin, I’ll share another heart-sinking moment (face it — you’ll have many of those when you go out on your own). It happened as a part of a monthly mastermind or accountability group where my goal was to get my blog readership up. Another person was attempting to do the same. As we reported our progress to each other, she was bubbly and happy to report that her “list” had grown by 2,500. She had found some automated tools that reached out to people. She also spent several hours a day working on getting people on her “list.” I, by comparison, had only added a measly twenty-five. I, by contrast, did it the old-fashioned way, personal invite by personal invite.
Of course, how things begin does not always foretell how they end. A few months later, this person was discouraged and was giving up her business. Even though her “list” had grown to over 25,000, she was not making enough sales to continue her business. She was throwing in the towel. On the flip side, my blog list still hovers in the low four figures. I get some folks joining via word of mouth and others that I invite because I think they would appreciate my writing and topics. Yet my smaller audience is a continual source of referrals (and, at times, business). Even though it is relatively small, it is mighty.
It’s easy today to get distracted by sheer numbers. You can easily track subscribers, followers, likes, and claps. Just as easily, you can spend an inordinate amount of time and money chasing subscribers, followers, likes, and claps. It’s measurable. It feeds your ego. And those pushing their own services to help you grow your audience or platform seem to be in your face all the time!
Yet my experience says that for higher-end services, the quality of your network really matters. I’d encourage you to spend more time nurturing deeper relationships with a few strategic few folks in your network than mining for the masses.
Blunder Two: Not Following Up
There are several stereotypes of independent consultants. One is that we are folks just between jobs. (only true some of the time). Another is that we spend an inordinate amount of time in coffee conversations. (too often true).
The invitations vary:
“Meet me over coffee.”
“I’ll buy you a cup of coffee.”
“Let’s meet at this great coffee shop.”
The coffee shop has become to independents what the golf course has been to high-powered businessmen. A place to partake of a pleasurable endeavor (ahh…those lattes) and at the same time get some business done.
Coffee conversations are indeed, the start of many good things and many great relationships. I met a business partner over a series of coffee conversations. I’ve found wonderful people to collaborate with. I’ve met interesting people, made life-long friends, learned many new things, and gotten amazing referrals.
However, without follow-up, coffee conversations become just that — a nice conversation over a nice cup of coffee in a nice little meeting place. If you genuinely want to build your network, the coffee (or initial) conversation is only the very first step.
Follow-ups don’t have to be time intensive, but they do need to happen. We know from the study of human memory that if you interact with a person, concept, or idea three times in 30 days, you have a 90% chance of recalling that person, concept, or idea.
As such, make it a goal to add two more touches in thirty days to solidify the beginning of the relationships you started in coffee conversations. It takes a bit of discipline, but any one of these follow-up actions will suffice:
- Drop a handwritten thank you note (my personal favorite) in the mail
- Send an email thank you note
- Extend an invitation to connect on LinkedIn with a personal note (a must-do in my book)
- Follow through on something from your conversation
- Introduce them to someone in your network
- Send them something they would value based on your discussion (a book, article, link to a website)
- Offer thoughtful comments on one of their social posts
Doing this ensures you’ve not consumed valuable hours and too many lattes for naught!
Blunder Three: Taking and Not Giving
As we’ve worked with hundreds of new consultants at LEAP, there is a common aversion by many to two things: networking and selling. And the commonality is the mistaken belief that both are about taking and not giving. They both operate only out of your own self-interest, and they are one-sided interactions. Nothing could be farther from the truth.
I was unnerved the first time a very successful person I had met to network with asked me: “What can I do for you?” I’m sure I stammered out something quite unintelligible and very unthoughtful. While I don’t recall my specific response, I clearly remember the question and my incredulity that someone so accomplished, so above my station, so far ahead of my own career path would make that inquiry.
Yet as I networked more and more, I began to see this pattern: The more successful the person I was meeting with was, the more likely they were to ask what they could do to help me.
And ask they did. With sincerity. With follow through. With regularity.
And it began to dawn on me that networking really was not about taking but about giving. About finding a way to help another human being on their journey. About offering something you had in service of something that another might benefit from.
It was not about business card swapping. It was not a transaction in which I introduce you to two people in my network in exchange for two people in your network. It was not about taking and it was all about giving.
Which is where the paradox comes in. For it is n the giving that good things come back your way. Not in a linear, tit-for-tat kind of way. I’ve found that the more you connect others, the more connected you become. The more you refer, the more people think to refer you. The more you offer assistance in any form, the more likely that the assistance you require shows up.
As such, end your network meetings with this one simple but powerful question:
“What can I do to help you?”
And then, of course, make a note and follow through. You will have just nurtured that relationship and set yourself up to receive something, somewhere (yet to be seen).
On a final note…
I’m proof positive that you can build a professional network from pitiful to powerful. That, with intention, skills, and focus, your network truly can be a thing of beauty. With focus, effort, and intention, my life is filled with an abundance of wonderful relationships that include peers, colleagues, clients, past clients, co-creators, thought partners, practice partners, and just totally amazing people. My network is a living, growing, affirming, giving group of people — and I can’t imagine doing business in any other way.
